Apr

7

Buy the ticket take the Ride

Filed Under Blogs and Journals 

Buy the ticket take the Ride
Hunter S. Thompson

Two days ago, I stumbled across a blog post on the New York Times online that posed a very interesting question, one that I had never considered in this particular vein before. What situation or experience would be worth relapsing for?

Sacha Z. Scoblic is a Hunter Thompson fan and in recovery. In the post she relates a chance encounter a friend of hers had with Hunter Thompson. Her friend wound up at the Owl Ranch and spent a few hours indulging in various substances while Thompson read his work to the group. That definitely makes my list of cool-ass things to have happen to you.

Presented with her friend’s story, Scoblic concludes “obviously, in that situation, I would have to relapse.”

She goes on to ponder other persons or situations where she might consider what I call a relapse of choice. Simply put, a relapse of choice is a situation where if all things are equal, the experience of using or drinking again outweighs the risks. I have been abstinent from alcohol for 25 years now and the situations where I might choose to relapse to fully enjoy a certain experience have grown smaller with each year. Recently, I haven’t thought of a situation where I would take a relapse of choice.

However, Scoblic raises an angle I had not previously considered. I had always thought in terms of scenarios like the end of the world (which Scoblic also considers). I decided long ago I would prefer to face doomsday clear-headed and in the company of people I care about. For Scoblic, there are people with whom she might decide to drink, most of them being dead writers. This got me thinking about whom I might want to break my drought with. I abandoned any illusions that might minimize the gravity of the choice. The choice had to be made with the very real possibility that a quick and tidy recovery would be neither possible nor likely. No, the choice had to be made knowing that it might mean lifelong addiction or a tragic outcome.

With that happy consideration factored in, the list grew short. Scoblic considered and rejected Amy Winehouse as did I, but probably for different reasons. If I am to abandon sobriety altogether, then the person I am going to hang with has got to have some skill and a long record of survivability. Winehouse is like a young pitcher with an amazing arm; the potential is there for everyone to see but it will be years before we know if the potential is realized. My guess is that Winehouse will be a burnout and hitting the talk shows with her recovery story before she sees 30.

The criteria quickly became quite clear. The person must be clearly addicted to at least one substance for at least two decades. They must be nationally known. They must be unrepentant.

I figure it like this. This person needs to know what the hell they are doing, there should some cool factor for potentially flushing my life down the drain and I really don’t want to listen to a bunch of whining and sniveling that might kill my buzz. Nutt up and crack the bottle.

At this point, there are only a few names on the list. Jackson Pollock, Hunter Thompson, Bela Lugosi, and William S. Burroughs all would be easy choices but they are deceased and so could not be considered.

So that leaves two names; Bob Dylan and Keith Richards. As much as I wanted to keep him on the list, I had to ultimately discard Dylan. His conversion experience in the eighties leaves open the possibility, however unlikely, that he might have some hallucinatory religious vision while we are running the table in Las Vegas and I don’t want to have to make those kinds of explanations to what would be a hostile mob. Degenerate gamblers may be looking for salvation, but not of that sort.

Keith Richards becomes the only person I would seriously consider picking up the bottle with. His credentials as a junkie are impeccable, his tolerance is legendary, there is an extremely high cool factor, and I can’t think of anyone who better exemplifies unrepentant.

The sad part is that if I am completely honest, I would ultimately pass at the chance. I might well enjoy a fascinating few hours or maybe even days in the midst of a full-court binge with one of the most notorious addicts that ever lived. But just as easily as I can imagine the amazing stories I would have to tell of my adventures with Keith Richards, I can see myself at a bar in some hell hole telling those stories to no one in particular, those two or three days long past. Unlike my dream relapse with Keith Richards, that seems a likely possibility.

Update: While doing a search for quotes of Keith Richards, I came across this brief piece where Keith Richards warns Amy Winehouse of the danger of drug abuse and its impact on her career. Good advice from the man who said ““It’s an addiction, … and addiction is something I should know something about.”

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