Oct

18

Growing Certainty

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At some point, an interruption becomes stoppage. Where this point lies precisely is uncertain. However, once it become impossible to satisfacorily address the question of when an activity it going to resume, it is fair to say one is well past that point.Almost exactly two years from the opening of my first solo exhibition in New York City, I can now resonably address the question of when I might start painting again — very soon. Last week I devote a few mornings to clearing out the studio and organizing storage areas. I swept and cleaned and removed two years of clutter and debris filled with a growing certainty that I would be painting again.

After I had created a suitable sense or order, I began creating new panels. The urge to paint still feels fragile and tenuous, so I deliberately chose to create only three medium size panels and two small ones. I also made a point to ask Helen to refrain from asking me a lot questions about how things were going. I may be over-zelous at the point in protecting my desire to work, but I am okay with that.I also feel a great sense of anticipation. Ideas are turning around in my mind and I already have a sense of how I am going to begin.

Orange and reds, rich and luminous are glowing in my thoughts. The first steps of the new works are already clear to me. But as always, where those steps will lead is completely unknown to me.I’m comfortable with that.